Porcelain

By Modith D. Wickramasinghe

My eyelids fluttered open, my vision initially clouded from my own dazed mind, and for a few uncertain moments, the only thing I saw was the cold, hard floor, smooth against my cheek as I lay there unmoving.

With sluggish movements, I uncurled myself from the fetal position and struggled to sit up, my head throbbing with each movement, the cold feeling like a brand stamped across the left side of my face. As I slowly regained a sense of lucidity, panic surged through me, hastening my heartbeat as I tried to remember how I got here, but my mind was a blank slate.

The room was dimly lit with a solitary light bulb as the only source of light, but even so, the darkness continued to embrace me like a heavy blanket. The air was musty, tinged with the mingling faint aroma of spice and herbs that felt almost nostalgic. Fear gripped me as I called out into the darkness, my voice trembling, and “Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me?” As I strained my ears, I caught a faint sound – a distant creaking, like a door being opened in the background.

While I waited with bated breath for what might come, a woman appeared from the corner of the room. She was tall and slender, with piercing blue eyes that seemed to see through my very soul. Her long, dark hair cascaded down her back like a spill of ink. Perhaps it was a trick of the poor lighting, but it seemed to ripple with a life of its own even as she stood still, her magnetic gaze locked on me. She was a vision of beauty so captivating that I felt like a moth drawn to a flame. For a moment, I could only stare dumbly, words abandoning me entirely as she kept regarding me quietly with an almost cold sense of curiosity.“W-Where am I?” I finally managed to ask, my voice hoarse from both disuse and my own inner turmoil at her mere presence.

It was quite useless trying to keep the panic out of my voice as she continued to stare at me from across the room, her blue eyes like chips of ice piercing the darkness surrounding us, staring me down, making me feel exposed and naked. I wanted to get up and leave but I sat there transfixed, unable to even look away. At first I thought she hadn’t heard me, but then I heard her voice, melodic and ethereal as a nightingales

“You’re in my workshop of course,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone, twirling her right hand as she indicated the room around us. “Can’t you tell?” And that’s when I finally scrutinized my musty surroundings in greater detail for the first time. Looking around, I saw shelves lining the walls, displaying an array of dolls in various stages of completion. Their unseeing glass eyes seemed to follow every movement, their porcelain faces frozen with unnatural smiles that bordered on the edge of malevolence.

Some dolls lacked limbs or had cracked features, adding to the sinister atmosphere of the workshop.

The rickety workbenches were cluttered with tools of the trade – rusty scissors, frayed spools of thread, and half-empty jars of paint. Discarded scraps of fabric littered the floor like forgotten memories, while unfinished dolls lay scattered, their limbs disjointed and their features twisted into grotesque contortions.

In one corner, a lone doll sat on a high shelf, its abnormally pristine appearance standing in stark contrast to the worn and aged creations surrounding it. With its immaculate dressand unblemished features, it seemed almost out of place amidst the workshop’s macabre ambience.

The silence that hung heavy in the air was occasionally broken by the soft rustle of fabric or the faint creaking of floorboards, adding to the unsettling and eerie atmosphere. It was as if the very walls of the workshop held whispered secrets, waiting to be uncovered by those brave or foolish enough to venture deeper into its haunting interior. As I continued to survey the room, I could sense her watching me, looking but also not seeing, as though I were pure smoke and she was looking right through me. Her blank expression gave nothing away to what she thought of my presence here, almost as if I was merely another doll haunting the crevices of her workshop. Or maybe she was already too used to this scenario, a mere rehearsal of events that she’d witnessed time and time again.

Could it be me? Have I done this before? No, no…I would at least remember, wouldn’t I?

Even as these thoughts crossed my mind, a wave of self-pity already began to wash over me, pushing away that initial sense of panic that I had felt.

I was so thoroughly wrapped up in this new sense of self-loathing that I didn’t even realize that she was talking to me.

“What…?” I managed to utter when I finally realized a little too late that her melodic purr was once again resonating through the room and through the foggy daze in my brain.

“Have a seat,” she repeated, pointing to the area by the window where a couple of chairs and a small table was placed. An oasis of order in the sea of chaos that was the workshop.

As with the doll, both the chair and table were masterfully crafted. An enthralling work ofebony wood so delicate I feared it would break under my weight. She, on the other hand, had no such reservations; continuing to indicate with her long slender fingers that I go and sit down. I slowly eased myself off the cold wooden floor, my muscles protesting with each strain as I rose to my feet despite the throbbing ache in my head and the dizziness threatening to overwhelm me. The darkness that had initially enveloped me now seemed less daunting as my eyes discerned the many dolls that littered the room. I managed to shuffle my way towards the window with a sense of caution that bordered on fear. Fear that I might destroy the rickety equilibrium of the room with one false step.

Creeping towards the nearest chair, I lowered myself onto its hard surface with a sigh of relief. Up close, it was solid and well-worn, as if it had been used for many years. The familiarity of the chair offered a small sense of comfort amidst the utter disarray that were my thoughts. As I turned back to face my mysterious host once again, I saw that she had not moved at all, simply continuing to observe me. Just as I was about to ask the bizarre woman who she was, a shrill whistle cut through the air. I instinctively grabbed onto my head as the sound pierced into my brain as if a stake was being driven into it.

“Oh, the kettle’s ready!” she exclaimed with an almost gleeful tone, indifferent to my sudden and very obvious state of duress. “Would you like a cup of tea?” She looked over at me with that same nonchalant expression, and I groaned, trying to piece together a fragment of an answer.“Yes, clearly you do,” she answered for me, nodding towards my hunched figure. And before I could even make a sound, she was already drifting back to the other side of the room from whence she came. Her movements were fluid and graceful, like those of a gazelle or a practiced ice dancer. She made no sound as she flitted around, her back turned to me. I watched her silhouette as she deftly handled the teapot and dainty china cups as if performing a ritual known only to her.

The soft clinking of porcelain against porcelain echoed faintly as she prepared tea with deliberate motions, the aroma of brewing tea wafting through the room and mingling with the faint musty smell. It was the same fragrance I had smelled when I first awoke. I forced myself to remain calm, staring at the window. The dim light filtering through dusty glass cast long, eerie shadows that danced along the table like specters of the past. For a moment, I was distracted by the way they rippled on the table’s surface. Every movement was graceful, as if they held secrets that could unravel the very fabric of reality, but they remained an enigma, veiled in the shadows of this poorly lit workshop only to be answered by the dolls in their immortal refuge. I was taken out of my trance by the soft clink of a tea cup being set on the table. I flinched, noticing her standing there right next to me. Caught unawares, I could only watch as she walked towards the chair opposite me. A faint scent of lilies followed in her wake. Up close, her beauty was even more exquisite; like a living, breathing doll that had decided to walk off the shelves one day and live amidst mere mortals like myself.I nestled the tea cup in my hands as she took her seat. The warmth from the cup offered me a small sense of comfort despite the growing sense of unease. I hesitated, the curiosity bubbling within me yearning for answers.

“Who are you?” I ventured, trying to pierce through the veil of mystery that surrounded her.

“Don’t you know?” she countered with her own question.

“I’m sorry but I can’t seem to remember, I don’t even know how I got here.”

Her lips curved into a serene smile, but there was a firmness in her glacial eyes that hinted at an unspoken boundary. “Drink your tea,” she urged, her words carrying a subtle insistence.

Reluctantly, I picked up the cup and took a cautious sip, the flavor was rich and comforting, a stark contrast to the tension that lingered in the air. As the familiar taste of the tea filled my senses, I felt a sense of calm take over me. The panic that had gripped my heart began to subside, replaced by a soothing serenity. It was as if the simple act of drinking tea had a magical effect, grounding me in the present moment and easing the turmoil within.

With each sip, I felt my racing thoughts slowing down, the fear and confusion giving way to a sense of clarity. The room around me seemed less daunting, the darkness less oppressive. The mysterious woman’s demeanor had shifted subtly, her blue eyes gleaming with an almost childlike mirth while she surveyed me.“There’s something about tea that’s quite profound, don’t you think?” I finally remarked, taking another thoughtful sip from the cup, trying to ease the tension.

She nodded, her eyes glinting with a hint of amusement now. “Tea has a way of revealing layers, much like life itself,” she replied, her raspy voice carrying a slow intensity. Intrigued by her answer, I leaned forward, eager to fill the oppressive silence with her voice. Somehow the tea had finally managed to loosen my tongue, making it easier for me to speak to her without being perpetually dazzled.

“How so?” I asked, both to satisfy my curiosity about her perspective and my need to hear her speak.

“Life, like tea, can be sweet yet bitter. Comforting yet revealing,” she explained cryptically.

“It all depends on how you brew it.”

Her words resonated with me, and I couldn’t help but feel that she was hinting at something more profound than a simple discussion about tea. “Are you suggesting that there are hidden complexities within life, waiting to be uncovered?” I inquired, trying to decipher the layers of meaning in her words.

“Exactly,” she replied, flashing me that mysterious smile once more. “We all carry our own blend of experiences and emotions, steeped in the waters of existence.”

I furrowed my brow, sensing a deeper meaning in her words. “But surely there are universal truths? Principles that guide us toward what is right and just?” 

There was that knowing smile again. “Ah, but who determines what is right and just?

Society? Religion? Or perhaps something more primal and instinctual?”Her words sent a shiver down my spine, as if she was alluding to something darker lurking beneath the surface. The more we talked, the more I sensed that her fascination with tea held a deeper significance, one that hinted at hidden truths and concealed secrets.

“You have a way with words,” I complimented, trying to steer the conversation toward safer territory.

She chuckled softly, her magnetic blue gaze lingering on mine in a way that twisted my stomach into knots. “Words can be deceiving, much like the appearance of a tea’s flavor. It’s what lies beneath that truly matters.”

The words hung in the air like a haunting melody. I felt myself break into a cold sweat. In the chilliness of the room, I could feel my body tighten as I tried to comprehend the meaning behind her words. Even focusing upon her felt strenuous now. I slowly wiped

the dampness from my forehead, my hand hard and cold against my skin. Not knowing how I should answer her.

“Guess it’s time,” she announced without preamble in that calm and collected voice she’d used when we first met. Her eyes left me and stared intently at the table between us instead.

“…I’m sorry?” I managed to mumble out, my tongue feeling like a piece of chalk.

“Oh no, it is I, who should be apologizing,” she said, her disinterested, sweet voice sending a shiver down my spine. “But you see, I rarely get to enjoy a conversation like this before…well, before it’s too late.”“What?” I managed to choke out, my voice trembling with a mixture of confusion and strange terror.

The woman’s expression remained eerily serene, as if she had already detached herself from the conversation altogether. Her slender index finger merely pointed towards my right hand; a graceful dancer’s gesture.

As I stared down at my hand, a creeping sense of dread washed over me as I focused on my fingers, my breath caught as I realized with horror that they were bone white. The skin of my hand hard and pale, taking on the texture of cold, white bone. I tried to move my fingers, but they felt stiff and unyielding, as if they were no longer my own. A deeper sense of serenity washed over me as I felt myself falling out of my chair to the floor. My body was now numb and unfeeling. I watched with a peaceful sense of clarity as my spilt tea pooled in front of me. Drop by drop, I watched it fall like the Grim Reaper counting the sands of time. A silent observer, condemned to join the dolls in their perpetual vigil.